Tomorrow night I will introduce the first 2 movements of the 11 movement primordial qigong sequence that I do regularly. I plan to introduce 2 weekly with 3 to 4 on the third week of March. Hope to see you tomorrow @ 5.
Though pleasure is ephemeral and insubstantial, hold fast to to it in your mind, for it contains the meaning of life.
Alexander Lowen, in Pleasure
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!
Translated by Paul Reps in Zen Flesh, Zen Bones
Pleasure. Aliveness. Joy.
As several of us bioenergetic therapists were processing the introductory Bioenergetic Basics workshop in December that we all led, Leslie Ann Costello, a local trainer who did her first bioenergetic workshop with me in 2005, mentioned the importance of pleasure as a unique emphasis of bioenergetic therapy. She mentioned this as one way it is different from many of the trauma focused therapies that are around these days. From the beginning, Alexander Lowen, founder of Bioenergetic Analysis, emphasized pleasure, aliveness, joy as the goal and result of bioenergetic therapy. It’s purpose is to help people grow into the full range of human experiencing, to fully reclaim and possess all that it means to be human. Or as it is reported one woman who completed bioenergetic therapy said, “For the price of a Cadillac, I got a whole new life.”
Zen + Bioenergetics = what? It is an equation I have been working on for many years.
Zen is based on a 2500 year old Buddhist practice focusing on moment to moment awareness of the present, encouraged by sitting and walking mindfulness practice. In zen practice, we are mindful of our breathing as it takes us deeper into our experience to discover the wisdom there. As we notice our breathing, we may begin to wonder, “who breathes,” or “what is breathing?” We may come up with a few answers, but then our mind hits a blank wall. This is the mind before words, before thinking—one’s “don’t know” mind. “The truth is beyond all words,” says Sengstan, an early zen teacher.
In 1975 when I was in a creative writing program, I began experimenting with meditation as a way to open up my creativity. I began practicing various forms of Buddhist meditation, eventually centering on zen. Practicing zen at long retreats brought up tension in the middle of the back, usually at the same point in the retreat. So the question arose, What is that? As I became increasingly aware of tension in my body, in my counseling practice, I also became more aware of tension in others’ bodies, a subject little talked about in mental health training. I received 2 hours of training in body language in my counseling training program, by a graduate student. The awareness of body tension led me to the study of bioenergetics, which opened a whole new dimension of knowledge about energy and the body.
Bioenergetics is a 75 year old therapy based on the unity of body and mind developed by Alexander Lowen from the work of Wilhelm Reich. Bioenergetics works with movement, self-expression, breathwork, awareness , as well as traditional psychological methods. Bioenergetics helps one work through chronic tension and habitual patterns allowing one to experience pleasure and a sense of freedom.
During this time, as I practiced as a clinical counselor, I became disenchanted with several aspects of clinical practice. Words, for example. So many words. People need to tell their story, but much of what mental health counselors did relied on words to give meaning and change people’s thinking. We have this linear thinking self, often correlated with the left brain, that needs to organize the world by words and concepts. But this method leaves large parts of ourselves untouched–the physical self, the creative self, the imagination, the emotional self. We let the linear thinking brain drive the therapy and rule the roost. However, as Gregory Bateson points out, the body and the right brain don’t communicate via linear thinking. It uses analog communication—metaphor, images, senses, story.
Zen Master Seung Sahn, who studied western philosophy when he was in the university, used to say: “Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am.” He would then follow this by asking, “So, I don’t think, then what?” So there are unchallenged philosophical assumptions going on in the therapy process, that create an over reliance on words and the thinking mind. Words emphasize the very thinking mind and verbal identity that, from a zen point of view, is part of the problem. Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say that westerners had strong “energy up,” which means our energy is all in our head, in our thinking. So I began to wonder—for people who really want to change, doesn’t verbal therapy just strengthen the energy up?
In addition, I have seen people let go of things at zen retreats, bioenergetic and breath work workshops, without any need to put a cognitive frame around it. At one zen retreat, I experienced body tension related to anger; and as I explored it, I felt it extend throughout my body and back into my memories of the past. Then it released itself and let go. All without a word said. The point is learning to let go—to not hold onto ideas or emotions.
One time two family therapists interested in bioenergetics asked to attend one of my group workshops. During the workshop I did some deep emotional release work with a regular client of mine who was attending the workshop. I considered verbal processing of the work afterwards but instead we made eye contact and she seemed done. Words would’ve added an unnecessary post script to a complete piece of work. The family therapist asked why I didn’t do the verbal processing and I answered that the experience seemed complete as it was. I got a sense they weren’t satisfied with that answer, but the client later stated that words would’ve seemed a distraction at that point.
If we move beyond words, we also move beyond linear history, which relies on the same parts and pieces view of the world that linear thinking relies on. We believe in the fiction we have created of minutes, hours, days, years; and we believe that somewhere in our past, something happened, a childhood wound causes our behavior. But the pain is now, the trouble is now. The pain is there because we never released it. Other mammals don’t need therapy because they release the trauma as it happens, but we hold onto the pain, because we’ve learned not to let go. The wound in the past is a memory, the pain is now and needs to be released now. We need to learn to release the trauma held in our bodies, through things like bioenergetics, trauma release exercises, spontaneous qigong. Sometimes we need to pick the scab and sometimes we need to let it heal. The man who trained me in hypnotherapy used to say that to heal a broken leg, you don’t go back and break it again. It is best to focus on healing the present and let the past heal itself.
If we can let go of the held tension, we can also let go of a need for an answer. Maybe we can stop working so hard on getting ourselves “fixed.” “If one kills the desire to search, one will find what one is looking for” is an old zen saying. Someone I know says she stopped going to therapy because she was tired of the assumption on her part and probably the therapist, that she needed to be fixed—that there was some developmental injury in her childhood that needed to be repaired.
Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say that when you are here in the moment, your karmic self, your thinking mind, the thought mass that creates the patterns we define as ourselves, is gone. Living in the moment there is just that moment. In this moment, one is complete. A saying from The Compass of Zen goes: “One by one each thing is complete. One by one, each thing has it.” I was sitting in the interview room with Zen Master Dae Kwang, when he had me read these statements. There was a sense of opening and letting go. I was complete. The situation was complete. There is that fundamental wholeness which each of us has. We are ok, just as we are. “Without cultivation, you are already complete.”
From zen, I learned these two things that I brought into therapy: moment to moment mind, and grounding ourselves in our fundamental completeness. Zen Master Seung Sahn use to say, “Believe in oneself 100%.” One of my jobs as a therapist is to believe in the people I work with and help them believe in themselves.
So if I believed the zen point of view had so much to offer, why not just do zen? When some of my bioenergetic group members went to zen practice, they found it useful, but also thought the zen students would be helped by bioenergetics. With just zen, I felt people sometimes avoided the emotions and the relationship part of the equation. Sitting on the cushion putting effort into just attaining that “awake” state, the absolute self, people would strengthen the zen part of the equation but ignore the emotional and relationship part of the equation represented by bioenergetics. John Welwood, a well known meditation teacher and therapist, coined the phrase “spiritual bypassing,” to refer to this phenomenon.
So, why not just do zen? Because energy work is an effective means of bringing people more into the present. It helps release body tension which constricts awareness. It helps people let go. It can be more effective than just sitting. Dhiravamsa, a former Buddhist monk, leads workshops that include vipassana, a mindfulness practice similar to zen, and bioenergetics. On utilizing body and energy work in Buddhist practice, Dhiravamasa said:
As for the practice of meditation, bodywork and massage help release tensions and energy patterns brought to the surface through the meditative process, . . . It is very obvious to all participants in my work that after each bodywork session, meditators can sit more comfortably and go deeper into a meditative state. 1
In the Kwan Um Zen School, Zen Master Seung Sahn brought in zen wind exercises, a form of Buddhist qi gong, utilizing meditative movement and breathing.
So Zen + Bioenergetics = What?
As I have continued to sit with the question of what do you get when you bring together zen and bioenergetics, the answer evolved in my practice. If you are sitting or standing and paying attention to the moment, then a thought, an impulse, a sensation, a feeling arises from the ground of our body, leading to—movement. So movement by movement we express ourselves, coming from that ground of our total self. Put zen and bioenergetics together and you get movement. Put them together and you get something like qi gong.
Functionally, this means doing a combination of meditative and bioenergetics exercise, beginning in stillness and awareness, moving into energy as people release tension, and then back to a deeper awareness in stillness. The workshops I do alternate periods of silence and music, individual work and creative movement in a group. There is a limited amount of talking, at the beginning and end. Combining both awareness work and energy work, it is like a zen bioenergetic retreat with the goals of moment to moment awareness, acceptance and letting go.
As people do the creative movement in the workshop together, it becomes a dance, a dance of the self, and as one does it with others, as we breathe and move and dance together, we are building a creative and healing community. In the workshop, we are moving and dancing together as a community, a sangha, a tribe.
At a retreat one December, Zen Master Soeng Hyang (Barbara Rhodes, “Bobby”) allowed me to lead some evening stretching sessions. One night I led 45 minutes of bioenergetic, zen wind and yoga movements and exercises. Here, zen met bioenergetics—movement as meditation, energy work combined with awareness work. From Bobby, I heard great reports from the participants when they returned to their sitting with more focus and physical comfort. This was it—zen and bioenergetics.
If when you put zen and bioenergetics together you get movement, when you put zen and bioenergetics movement in a group with music, you get a dance. And, as we move, breathe and dance, we discover what is most human in ourselves—our compassion, our creativity, our ability to move and express ourselves, to find our creative and growing edge—grounding us in our fundamental self so we can reach out, to move with and be moved by others.
1.Dhiravamsa. Turning to the Source: Blue Dolphin Publishing, 1990. P 219.
One time in Alaska young woman asked me, “If we have made such good use of animals, eating them, singing about them, drawing them, riding them, and dreaming about them, what do they get back from us?“ An excellent question, directly on the point of etiquette and propriety and from the animal side. I told her “The anai say that the deer, salmon, and bear like our music and our fascinated by our languages. So we sing to the fish or the game, speaks words to them, say grace. We do ceremonies and rituals. Performance is currency in the deep worlds gift economy.“ I went on to say that I felt that non-human nature is basically well inclined toward humanity and only wishes modern people were more reciprocal, not so bloody. The animals are drawn to us, they see us as good musicians, and they think we have cute ears.
Gary Snyder, Back on the Fire
This morning while I did qi gong a chipmunk came, sat, and looked at me for the longest time. I assumed they were watching me: “That is peculiar behavior for human,“ in chipmunk thought. It reminded me of the time I did tai chi at my in-laws farm. When I started the cows were scattered all over the field and at the end they were all standing nearby looking at me – – almost all of them. My family commented on it at the time.
This reminded me of the Gary Snyder statement above about how animals appreciate our music and our dances. We don’t often think about what wild animals are thinking about us. I think that is part of human solipsism – – our self-centered approach to the wild. That same attitude of separating our human identity from the natural also plays itself out in the way we deny or suppress our animal and biological nature in favor of the human identity, and more so, our thinking self, the ego. One of the things that body therapy tries to do is to remedy that split, so we are one human being, body, mind and soul. And as we heal the split between our civilized and wild side, we also heal the split between us and the world.
Of course, there have been other responses to me doing tai ji. One time, I was doing tai ji during my lunch break while working at Mercy Hospital, a neighbor called the police and reported someone was in distress. Of course, maybe that was what the chipmunk thought.